My Ego is No Longer Central

Two weeks ago, Galatians 2:19-20 (The Message) literally stopped me in my tracks:

What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn't work. So I quit being a "law man" so that I could be God's man. Christ's life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself completely with him. Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central. It is no longer important that I appear righteous before you or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God. Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not "mine," but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I am not going to go back on that.

There's nothing more frustrating than working your tail off doing exactly what the book, conference, or famous pastor told you to do, only to wind up battling a nasty inferiority complex because it didn't work for you like it did for them.

I know. I was there...a year ago.

Honestly, I probably read blogs to see how I stacked up more than any other reason. I visited church websites, read books, and attended conferences with this sense of immense pressure - I had to unearth that next great idea that would take us to the next level.  If I didn't come through, then I'd let my staff down and more than that, I'd let God down.  

Rather than getting to the next level, I built a bunch of idols. And I've learned that idols rob you of one thing more than anything else: the peace that comes with knowing I am fully justified because of Jesus, not me.

As Paul wrote in Galatians 2, I don't live because I'm good enough or because I've done enough to impress God. I live when I have been crucified with Jesus. My small, sinful, selfish dreams and idols have been replaced by justification, identity, and purpose that come from Jesus. My life is not my own...it's Jesus in me, the hope of glory.

"My ego is no longer central." I don't have to compare to be justified. I don't have to unearth the next great idea to be justified. I don't have to hit a certain number of blog subscribers or have a certain growth curve in my church to be justified. I am already justified...all that's left to do is enjoy it, live in it, and invite others to do the same.

I'm still gleaning from this passage, but I felt okay enough to share this much.  God is breaking me. It hurts for my ego to no longer be central. Some days are worse than others.  But, I am learning. And I am thankful that I don't have to impress God to earn justification...He freely gave it to me by way of the cross of Jesus.

Comments

[chris roberts]

What a journey you've been on over the last year! I'm so excited to be a spectator in what He's doing in you and is going to do through you. God is doing a great work!!!

[jay hardwick]

thanks, chris! you're more than a spectator...your encouragement and prayers are paving the way...so don't stop anytime soon! :-)

[Rich Butler]

Amen brotha. Great insight into the issue that we all face. So cool to see what God is doing through you in Columbia.

[jason salamun]

you impress me. :)

[leedle]

That's it, you're not close...you're there.