Biggest Mistake or Greatest Asset

There are so many things at that are critical for success in church planting. I get lots of emails from potential church planters asking advice for what they should do to prepare themselves to plant. Had these guys asked me the question a couple of years ago, I have no doubt that my answers would have been very different. But one answer would have been the same...only I didn't do it when we started Catalyst.

And looking back, it was probably my biggest mistake.

When we set out on the journey to start Catalyst, I was easily about 6 months ahead of Lara Beth. I had been digesting books, studying churches, talking with leaders, meeting with what would be our initial staff team...I had immersed myself in all things church planting. I would come home jacked up about the latest discoveries, the latest trends, what so and so is doing in XYZ, USA, and I'd rattle on and on about it all. Lara Beth would patiently endure my white hot vision talk...and then ask me a foundational, basic question that usually dealt with our certainty of God's call, our preparedness as a couple, or my preparedness as a leader. I would look back in shock that she didn't "see it," or "get it."

She saw it and got it way more than I did. I was too stupid to realize it.

It took a while before we got on the same page, but my mistake was that I kept charging onward while trying to make her jump through hoops at hyper-speed to catch up. I thought she was against me...turns out she was big time for me and saw what was ahead way better than I did.

When God began to move in us to call us to a new city to launch a new work, I told Him to tell Lara Beth first...and, He did. :-) I'll never forget the moment at our kitchen table when she looked at me and said, "What if we're supposed to move to a new city and start a new church."

Now, she is 100% my greatest asset. And she proved it again last night.

For the better part of an hour, she encouraged, motivated, challenged, and helped me with several key issues related to the vision God is birthing in us for Columbia and for our lives. I said nothing...I kept my mouth shut and just listened and thanked God for this incredible gift that He has given me. She is my #1 fan and wants so badly for God to move on our behalf.

Guys, if you're dreaming about planting a church, that's great. But don't you dare make a move until your wife has given her heart fully to the dream. He won't call you without calling her, too. He won't birth a vision in you without birthing it in her, too. And shut your mouth and listen to her...sometimes, okay often :-), she gets it more than you do. She is not against you...she is very much for you.

You can move onward with her as your greatest asset.
Or you can move onward without her and it will be your biggest mistake.

The choice is yours.

Comments

[Brad Ruggles]

Dude, you are so right on. I don't know how I could do what I'm preparing to do without my wife.

I like what you said about how she balances you out. I think God wired us as men to be drawn more towards big visions and ideas. We need our wives to keep us grounded in the vision that God put in our hearts.

Great post man.

Brad Ruggles
www.bradruggles.com

[Technonana]

Oh Sweet Jay... I just have to say... I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KEPT YOUR MOUTH SHUT AND LISTENED!!! GOOD FOR YOU!!! WHAT A POWERFUL LOVING WIFE, YOU ARE INDEED MOST BLESSED!!

[jay hardwick]

i think lara beth was shocked at my silence, too! :-)

[paul peterson]

Jay,

Right on man!

I'm realizing my bride is one of the best sources of wisdom in my life because she hears my dreams, sees the vision, and knows me!

When Jesus speaks, I listen. When my bride speaks, I listen. When Jay Hardwick speaks, I listen. ;-)

Thanks for highlighting the importance of spousal buy-in!