A Disturbed, Broken Beggar

At Catalyst last year, Craig Groeshel shared what he thought to be the most dangerous prayer one could pray:

"Lord, disturb me."

Rick Warren then shared what he thought to be the most dangerous prayer one can pray:

"Lord, use me."

They're both right.

When we started this journey, our prayer was "Lord, where do You want to use us?" When Columbia became the clear destination, our prayer became, "Lord, how do You want to use us." But in praying for Him to use us, it's clear He must disturb us first.

Sometimes I struggle to put into words how He is disturbing me. Mostly because I am seeing how selfish, prideful, and duplicitous this heart of mine really is. But, the disturbance is leading me to repent and pray like never before. In a sentence, the disturbance leaves me broken.

In order for God to use me, I must allow Him to disturb me. The more He disturbs me, the more He breaks me. The more He breaks me, the more He can use me.

So that's where I am...disturbed, breaking more everyday, begging God to use me.

Comments

[Monty]

Jay,
Thanks for the reminder of our beggar status (blessed are the poor in Spirit..). It's one all of us tend to forget in the epic battle/journey of life this side of the Kingdom fulfilled. I don't think I was ever more aware of my absolute dependence upon God until we left the safe confines of existing church to plant a start. It has been a humbling journey, but one loaded in joy despite my continual mistakes and constant imperfections. I think it was Erwin McManus who said a few years ago that "being in the center of God's will is the most dangerous place to be and we should strive to be dangerous people." Coupled with your Groeshel and Warren quotes that is indeed powerful and full of Holy fright and anticipation. Cheers to you and your tribe in Columbia! mc

[stephen]

as always, an incredible post.

this past saturday we sang "broken" by lifehouse. before we did though, it just hit me to say "in our state of being lost, the key to growing closer to God is not speeding up. its not slowing down. the key to finding God in the midst of our state is to stop. to be broken."

i love the reminder that we need to be broken. that we need to be disturbed before God truly uses us.

we're praying for you guys in cola, and very excited about what He's already doing.

[Susanne Reeder]

Jay, thanks so much for sharing this...I really needed this today. Sometimes the uncertainty of it all can be frustrating, but now I know that God wants me broken and disturbed...that is how and when He can best use me. WOW!!! Thanks again...did I mention I needed to hear this??? ;-)
Have a great day!

[leedle]

"To be brought into the zone of the call of God is to be profoundly altered." My Utmost for His Highest.

Cheers to Detoxication!

[Brad Ruggles]

I was at Catalyst for that message by Craig. It was very challenging. I'm praying for the same thing...disturbing in my life where I'm too comfortable....brokenness where I need to change.

Brad Ruggles
www.bradruggles.com