I dont think I have ever heard anyone say, "I just love buying a car!" It has to be one of the most stressful, sweat-inducing acts any human being could subject themselves to. I had the opportunity to wade in the waters of negotiation on Saturday.
Last week, we looked at some mini-vans. Wow...they certainly are nicer than they were in yesteryear. And honkin' expensive, too! I could not believe how much a decent used van with low mileage costs. You sort of get lulled into thinking that it's a family vehicle, so it must be cheap. And, you think they'd be good on gas mileage. Not so much. My '97 Explorer was comparable on gas.
So, we went back to the drawing board. And, in doing so, we were rescued from the abyss of mini van world! And now, after driving an SUV for the last 12 years of my life, I am driving a car. A 2005 Nissan Altima to be exact. So far, I like it....I just feel like my rear end is dragging on the ground. And, it's a little weird reaching up to the drive thru window.
But you know what's still rolling around in my mind? Those 2 hours I spent negotiating to get the right price. These car guys know how to manipulate a situation and get you thinking what THEY want you to think. Even though I drove away with the car I wanted and got really, really close to the deal I wanted, I feel like they "got me." I've replayed the whole conversation 1000 times, looking for the loophole they created. I haven't found it yet...and I probably won't. Like I said, I got what I wanted. And all my thinking led to another thought...
Do unchurched people that I am friends with feel the same way when I invite them to church or speak truth into their lives? What would cause them to feel like I "got them," or that I manipulated their thinking. Conversely, what would cause them to feel confident that I want nothing but their best.
The answer, for me, is TRUST. I struggled to trust the guy who sold me my car, so I questioned everything. Why did the offer on my trade suddenly double? Why are you offering this upgrade? Why are you chasing me out of the dealership as I walk away? My answer...he wanted to sell a car. He only cared about his end of the deal.
The key to invest and invite is trust. Before a person will give you two hours of their time on a Sunday morning, she has to trust you. Before a peson will let you in on what's really going on, he has to trust you. Trust that you are their friend because you want to be their friend, not because you need to check off the next box on your religious to-do list. They have to know that you and I care way more about their end of the deal (their lives) than our end...after all, eternity is at stake for them.
I sure don't want any of my unchurched friends to say, "I hate being friends with Christians. I always feel like they're 'getting me.'" Unchurched people aren't projects...they're people. People with potential...people with a story that God wants to tell...people who need Christians like you and me whom they can trust.
The good news is we have a partner in the whole process...a pretty good partner to have on your side. Yeah, the Holy Spirit! Leave the convicting and convincing to Him and be a friend. Whatever you do, don't act like a car salesman!
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